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Fisher concludes from this that romantic love is not only a basic human need, but also a drive that shapes how we act in the world.
She explained that it is associated with "wanting, craving, focus, energy, and addiction," and that it is separate from but adjacent to both where our sex drive resides in the brain, and the part of our brain that is activated by attachment, which is something that grows out of romantic love over a period of time.
But the other findings, like the fact that expensive rings and ceremonies don't yield happier unions, are more surprising.
Perhaps ill-matched couples use giant diamonds or flashy weddings to cover up the cracks in their emotional foundations.
By looking at the way what a marriage is and what we expect of one has evolved over time, psychologist Eli Finkel found that today people expect marriage to provide not only love and companionship, but also to facilitate personal growth and self-expression.
According to Finkel, these expectations are far greater than those people have had for marriage in the past, and the problem is, married people today are spending less time together than in decades prior, so they are not putting enough time into their relationships for those expectations to be fully met.
Now, feel free to navigate to the upper left-hand corner of this page, click on the "print" button, and lay this article before the mascara-streaked face of the nearest Bridezilla.
Ansari explained, Social science shows that the more time you spend with people, that's when you learn these deeper things and develop positive illusions, and the Flo Rida theory basically just states that ultimately, we're all like a Flo Rida song.
When you first hear it, you're like, ' All right, Flo Rida, I've heard this shit before.
You can fall in love with someone instantly." According to Fisher, this is why a lot of arranged marriages work.
Ansari and Klinenberg found through talking to people in interviews and focus groups that dating in today's world, enabled and organized by social media and dating sites, presents people with a paradox of choice--we are so overwhelmed by the amount of potential romantic partners available to us that we find it very difficult to select one to pursue.
He suggests that this is related to a long-term decrease in marital happiness.